If there’s one thing that some of you might be surprised by, it’s that we started this blog and our Instagram page to document our journey well before we had told all of our family. Believe it or not, as I’m writing this, some family members still don’t know that we are expecting our bundle of joy, bearing in mind that I’m almost 24 weeks pregnant!
We’ve had several things to overcome in terms of this pregnancy and life in general. Firstly, it didn’t feel right for us to announce our news right after our nuchal scan at 13 weeks because I’d lost my gran almost two weeks before my scan and her funeral wasn’t until three weeks after that! We’ve also had the covid restrictions to contend with, and there are certain family members we wanted to tell face to face because we know the news is likely to be hard on them.
We also have the ups and downs of a high-risk pregnancy to deal with. When you know that there’s a chance that there could be something wrong with your baby, or you have issues yourself from an early point, it can be challenging to get excited about expecting and wanting to tell everyone. Whilst most feel that after the first scan is a safe time to announce you’re expecting a little bundle of joy, we knew that it wouldn’t be until after that all-important anomaly scan that we’d feel ok about telling everyone.
Finally, we’ve just needed time to prepare ourselves for everyone’s reactions. If you’ve read our post on what you not to say to LGBTQIA+ parents, then you’ll know that we haven’t had the best responses to the pregnancy news. So getting back up and brushing ourselves off, ready to tell the following few people at a time, has been challenging because we’ve been worried about the responses, especially as ‘concerns’ over me being a disabled parent have been raised as well. Having said that, we’ve had more positive reactions to the news than negative, with some even questioning how we kept the news away from people for so long, despite going out and about as lockdown has eased, which brings me to my tips for those wanting to wait that little bit longer to tell people!
Choose your clothes wisely!
I was lucky that my bump is still small, to the point that even at 23 weeks, not everyone could tell I’m pregnant. However, I put this more down to my clothing choices. If you’re lucky enough like me to be approaching the 20-week mark in the spring or wintertime, then layers and baggy jumpers are your best friends. If you are trying to keep it secret for longer in the summer months, then patterned styles and long flowy dresses that don’t cling are your best bets. Avoid bodycon style dresses at all costs; even patterned ones can show a bump!
Use accessories to hide your growing bump
This is a tip aimed more at those who are wheelchair users and one I’ve used a lot! Of course, having a bag on your lap can hide your growing bump, but for those who aren’t wheelchair users, even having a bag with a long shoulder strap so you can wear it in a crossbody style over your front will work. Long, flowy scarfs are also another good accessory to use, as they can break up an outfit and distract from your bump, as are long necklaces.
I hope that gives you an insight into why we chose to keep our pregnancy news quiet for a while longer than most and how I managed it. If you’ve done similar, feel free to share your tips and advice in the comments for others to see!